It's time.

Well we have reached a very difficult decision today. We have decided to let Alexis go tonight at 5:30pm. She collapsed again today and is getting weaker and weaker. Her red blood count is down to 1.37 which is critically low and she is just getting weaker and weaker. She wasn't able to eat her breakfast this morning and I had to force her pills down. She's resting comfortably at home today and I'm here with her, spending my last day with my darling. Then tonight after work Derek and I are going to take her to the vet together. It's so very hard but I know it's for the best. I want her to go while she is still able to walk on her own, and while she is coherant and aware. I want her to go peacefully in my arms, not while I'm gone at work and she's alone.

If there is anything to be learned from all this, please know that it is better to let them go peacefully on your own terms than cling to them until the bitter end for your own sake. It is better that they be happy up until the end and not suffering needlessly just so you can keep them alive for yourself. That is my belief and I hold it dear.

I'll post again tonight when she is gone with some photos and a slideshow that I am working on today to celebrate the life of my darling Lexipoo.

She's hanging in there

Alexis is still with us ... she is doing "a little better, a little worse" every day. She's eating wonderfully (dog food! no more chicken and ground beef!) with great appetite and is fairly steady on her feet. We have a vet check tomorrow morning so I'll report after that and let you know how my Lexiboo is doing.

The photo is our whole crew (Chippy, Alexis, Chase) with Derek's Mom, Andrea.

Johannah.

Happy Holidays!

Bad news from the vet

Well Miss Alexis had a vet visit this morning for a blood count check and her numbers are going down again. It went down a full point, at our last visit it was down just a few tenths. So Dr. Marlow is upping her to the full dosage of Prednisone for her body weight and we'll hope that can stop her immune system from destroying her blood. She feels great, the Pred will do that, so if this doesn't help I think we are going to have some difficult decisions to make.

She's 13 1/2 years old, she's had a GREAT life, and I don't want her to be hanging on if she's just lying there unresponsive. I wouldn't want that for myself so I won't do that to my "child." Right now she's still able to get up and move around, she plays with toys, and is a happy whippet, but if she starts going downhill I just hope I will have the strength to let go.

Jo

So-so vet visit for Alexis

Today's vet visit was not the triumphant vanquishing of her illness that I was hoping for. Her blood count numbers are down very slightly, a couple of tenths, so Dr. Marlow asked me to raise her Prednisone back to the previous level (60mg/day). Hopefully that will do the trick and next Monday we'll have better news to report.

Jo

Next vet visit is Thursday, we're crossing our fingers

Alexis seems to feel GREAT so we're crossing our fingers that tomorrow's vet visit goes well. She's active, she greets me at the door with a waggy tail and a chewie in her mouth, and she's sleeping through the night. She's gotten used to the idea of having pills shoved down her throat and doesn't put up much of a fuss anymore. I think she knows it's helping her. Tomorrow morning at 8am we'll know if her red blood cell count is still going up. We're crossing our fingers for good results.

Jo

Lexi is feeling great!

She greeted me at the door when I got home with a wagging toy and a chewie in her mouth. She was happy to see me, aware, and very hyper. I was absolutely delighted to see her running and playing with the other dogs.

Our vet Dr. Marlow is adding "Pet-Tinic" to her meds ... it helps with iron deficiency and helps the dog's body rebuild red blood cells. We'll pick that up tomorrow and hope it helps some more. She obviously feels better already and I can't wait to see her fully recovered.

Jo

Good news!!

We have GOOD NEWS for once! At today's vet visit, Lexi's red blood cells were UP! This is the first real improvement we've seen. Everything else has been "well it's not falling AS fast" and this is the first time her blood has actually been BETTER. It's a huge relief, my baby might make it after all! Big excitement in the Gage household today I tell ya!

Jo

A little better, a little worse

Lexi gave us quite a scare today. I really thought she was gone ... she was asleep and I couldn't wake her up at all ... her eyes were slightly open but she wasn't there. She was breathing very shallowly and I was terrified that she was on her way out. I almost called the vet. This episode lasted about forty minutes and I was resigned to the fact that I was losing her.

Then later she got up from the couch and was begging for food. I just don't know what to think!! Every time I get resigned to the fact that I'm losing her, she does a little bit better and then I get excited and think she's going to fight this thing and we're going to keep our little girl for a while longer.

Death is a terrible, terrible thing. I would not wish this agony on anyone.

Up and down

This morning I thought we were going to lose Alexis. She wouldn't take her pills (even wrapped in Pill Pockets, which are quite tasty I'm told) so I had to force them into her. She wasn't interested in breakfast, even though it was raw ground beef. She was listless and was just lying on her chair.

I started making breakfast for the Hooligans (our two young whippets, Chippy and Chase) and Alexis walked in. I was so surprised that I nearly dropped the bowls. I got the ground beef out again and she ate a good bit, even catching balls of meat when I tossed them to her. That little show of dexterity impressed me and made me feel like maybe the old girl has some life in her yet.

So now I don't know what to think. I had prepared myself for this weekend by telling myself that we might be letting her go. Now I think maybe I was too hasty in my resignation... I don't know what to think. I hate the not knowing... if I knew it was her time I could resign myself to that and let her go. But if she's going to fight this thing and stop killing her own blood I can rally the troops and we can fight this together as a family. I just wish I knew which it was going to be.

Not a good night

I got home from work early, and was spending time with Alexis when I noticed that she was very shaky and unsteady on her feet. I called the vet and they asked me to bring her in right away for another blood transfusion.

Ten minutes later we were there, and they took us straight to the back. I was actually allowed to help Dr Marlow and Brooke set a catheter in Lex's leg (I was a vet's assistant in high school so I have a little experience with holding dogs for procedures). Then they hung the bottle of blood and attached it to the catheter. They put Alexis in a cage and told me to come back in two hours. I went up front and just couldn't leave ... I chatted with the receptionist for a while and then I heard a bunch of noise in the back. Apparently Lex had managed to pull out her catheter and spray blood everywhere.

I called back to Brooke, "Do you want me to come back there or stay out?" and she replied, "Can you stand the sight of blood? She sprayed it everywhere." I told her it was no problem and went back there with my girl. I sat next to her and petted her while the rest of her transfusion finished up.

I took her home, with new medication instructions (double everything) and now we start the waiting. Waiting for results, waiting for her body to respond to the medication, waiting for her immune system to stop fighting her own blood.

Moderately bad news

We had another blood count check this morning at the vet's office, and Lexi's RBC was slightly down again. This is moderately bad news ... she may need another blood transfusion. My vet has kindly offered to open their office tomorrow (Saturday) to meet us for another blood count check.

I cannot begin to convey to you how absolutely wonderful, caring, compassionate, and accomodating my vet Dr. Marlow and his staff at Seven Oaks Veterinary Hospital (www.sevenoaksvet.com) have been through this entire ordeal. I recommend them WHOLEHEARTEDLY to anyone in the Columbia, SC or surrounding area who needs a really wonderful vet who just "gets it."

New Juliet puppy photos

The puppies are five and a half weeks old now (they'll be six weeks on Saturday) and absolutely adorable if I do say so myself. Mom has posted some new photos on her Picasa page so I've put them here as well:

An upbeat afternoon

I visited Alexis and the Hooligans at lunchtime and she was very playful and frisky! She came out of her crate to greet me at the door and played with a chewie and her favorite frog toy and sashayed around for a few minutes. I took her outside with the Hooligans and she avoided getting knocked over and pretty much stuck by my side. She did her business and wanted to come back inside, it was a little chilly.

I fed the two of the meatloaf muffins and they really enjoyed those. I am trying to get some weight back on Alexis although she is looking much better already. It's funny how quickly whippets drop and put on weight.

For the rest of my lunch break Alexis lounged on her chair while the Hooligans tried to finagle my lunch. She seemed tired, but I'm sure that's normal for what all she's been through.

Good news this time!!

Today's red blood cell count was down only slightly ... it seems that we have stopped the "crash" according to Dr. Marlow. We are continuing all medications, it seems like they are actually helping now and she is starting to respond to treatment. I am SO happy for my baby. We had scheduled another blood transfusion for today in case we needed it, but instead my little girl got to go home and rest. She seems more perky today, and when I put her in the backyard she hopped over the step to the back yard, when lately she has been dragging over it. She seems happier and more alert, too. I'm back at work today but will be visiting at lunchtime and checking on her.

Another visit and a day to rest

Another vet visit this morning, another blood count, and she's still losing red blood cells. We're adding cyclosporine to her drug regime, it's a drug given to organ transplant patients to reduce rejection. It should help her not reject the new blood and suppress her immune system enough to give the new blood time to help.

I stayed home from work today (technically a work-from-home day, I'm working on a big project) to spend time with her and keep an eye on her. She slept most of the day but seemed happy and relaxed. I'm sure she's glad to not be at the vet's office again today.

Next vet visit

Another visit to the vet, another blood count, and Lex's RBC numbers are down dramatically since yesterday. She had a blood transfusion (we were lucky that Brooke, our head vet tech, has an 80-lb health Lab who was willing to be our donor dog) and now it's wait-and-see. We're doubling the Prednisone to 20 mg every 12 hours.

Immune Hemolytic Anemia (IMHA)

We have been fighting a nasty disease with Alexis for the past week. She suddenly came down with IMHA, immune hemolytic anemia. She started by simply collapsing and losing muscle control altogether. She was obviously very upset and confused but unable to move. We assumed it was a seizure and called the vet, who offered to see her immediately (this was two Sundays ago). We started getting ready to load up in the car, and by the time we were ready to go she was up and around. We canceled the vet trip and considered ourselves lucky. We picked up some Valium from the pharmacy to have on-hand in case she had another "seizure."

A week later it happened again. Complete collapse, no muscle control, but completely aware and coherent except for being completely helpless. We administered Valium and although she was more upset about being completely helpless (due to the Valium dosage) she was safe. I sat with her on the couch for a few hours until she was more calm. I took her in to the vet on Monday. Bloodwork revealed extreme anemia of unknown cause, x-rays showed no masses in the brain or anywhere else. We started a high dose of Prednisone and antibiotics. She went back home to rest.