It comes and it goes. Sometimes I think of Lexi in a bemused, wasn't-that-fun kind of happy memory. Sometimes it stabs at my heart and I choke up and cry. Little things bother me. Big things don't. I have no problems with Chippy wearing Lexi's sunflower PJs. I couldn't bring myself to throw away the half pill (meloxicam) that had been sitting on the counter for three months. I had to ask Derek to throw it away. It didn't help Lexi. None of the drugs helped my girl.
I updated her site (www.alexiswhippet.com) with her story and more about who she was. That was pretty hard to do, but I wanted to share with the whippet world more about my girl and the life we had together. Editing the photos of her was the hardest. For some reason it wasn't as hard to detail our story ... but seeing her sweet face had the tears running down my face. I was foolish enough to work on the photos at work and had to hide my tears and try to get it together before I saw anyone.
Overall I'd just say it comes and it goes. Sometimes I'm totally fine. Sometimes I'm a total mess. It's up and down, it's a process, I know I'll be all right (I did not know this in December) but I know it will take more time.
Jo
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